Let it Be

Excuse my absence, I have had so much on my mind lately and sometimes this blog is just the last thing I want to do with my spare time, which is really sad.
Braelyn had another febrile seizure last week, and the second time around wasn't any easier than the first time. This time though I didn't get to actually see it happen, and I can't help feeling guilty that I wasn't there. We were downstairs laying on my bed watching a movie (that's all she wanted to do) when it was time for her next dose of ibuprofen (I had been religiously switching off every three hours with tylenol). I contemplated taking her upstairs with me to get the medicine and a snack, but when I asked her if she wanted to come with me she said "no". Looking at her cuddling with George, so comfy--well I just didn't have the heart to move her, and I honestly thought she'd be fine since I would be gone maybe 3 minutes total. So I told her I was going up stairs for a minute to get her a snack and some medicine and she smiled and said "kay". Literally three minutes later I came downstairs to find her groaning and stiff with her eyes in the back of her head. Talk about a panic attack! Then a minute later she was still and her eyes were closed, not responding to anything I was saying. This time around I was slightly less panicked, only because I knew what was going on; but after it was over she just closed her eyes and didn't respond to me and that is what freaked me out enough to call Mike, then my Mom who told me to call 911. Ugh, that's when panic starts to set in. The paramedics came and checked her out though, and she was so out of it she didn't even care when they poked her heel for some blood! I felt a lot better hearing them tell me it was normal for them to be like that, it's only because the seizure burns all of their blood sugar and leaves them with very little energy. They said I could take her in with them or on my own, but considering that we had been to the Dr. just hours before, I felt a visit to the ER was a little unnecessary since they weren't going to tell me anything I already knew. I let Braelyn sleep and stayed by her side the entire time. Having her be so out of it allowed me to actually put a cold wash cloth on her forehead without her freaking out at me so that was beneficial, but I sure did miss her smiling face!

Just after the paramedics left...so tired, but finally cooling down

Four hours later, thanks to our friend Mindy's yummy dinner delivery, she was acting like her normal self 

The hardest thing for me this time was not being by her side when it happened. I know she was probably too out of it to be scared, but I feel like I still should've been there. Then I think that if I had taken her with me she probably would have had the seizure when I was carrying her up or down the stairs, or while she was walking on her own, then maybe she would have hit her head or gotten hurt somehow and that seems just as bad. I was also doing everything I could to bring the fever down, I was religiously giving her medicine every 3 hours, I had taken her to the Dr. first thing in the morning when she woke up with a fever of 101, and I'd tried to give her anything and everything cold: popsicles, ice chips, a cold wash cloth, barely any clothing, now I know to try peppermint oil but at the time I thought I was doing everything I could and that is the hardest thing to accept. That sometimes things are just out of your control. After a nice nap and a good hug from daddy, hours later she was starting to get back to normal, but she woke up the next morning at 6am crying with the chills. Ugh, I felt so horrible, the poor thing! Here's to no more seizures!

The next day I was watching the news and saw the story about a West Jordan father singing to save his young son's life, and all my thoughts about B being sick just went away. I can't imagine what it would be like to find out that your child has a malignant brain tumor at 11-months old! My heart aches for this family and all they will have to endure, the song the dad sings is just perfect. "Let it Be" is something I need to tell myself when I'm having trouble accepting certain things in my life. Here's the video, if you care to listen. Donate if you can, seriously even a dollar! Help save a life, or just make it a little bit better. Then go share it!

Or watch the news story, that'll get you some tears for sure!

West Jordan father singing to save his 1 year old son