No More Excuses

I don't know why, but after 15 months of being a mom, I still can't seem to figure out how to take care of myself. Examples:

I can go an entire morning and into the early afternoon without realizing that I haven't eaten anything yet. 

I don't wash my face every night like I always have.

Confession-and this one is bad-I don't brush my teeth every night either.

I don't work out anymore.

I go to bed late.

I will go the entire day in sweats, unless I'm going somewhere. Okay, that's a lie. I go places in my sweats too.

I let my hair air-dry. I almost never style it. It just takes FOREVER. It's funny how I used to plan my day according to how long it would take me to get ready. 

I'm lucky if I get to shower alone. I'm talking about mommy-baby showers here. 

I go on diets, and go off of them just as fast. I lost 20 pounds for my wedding and guess what...it's back. This is probably the most depressing thought of all. Not to mention, I'm 40 pounds from where I really want to be. Ugh, that sucks to say out loud. Oh well, ya'll are probably already thinking it, just by looking at me! 

My favorite. I can go places without make-up on. 2 years ago I wouldn't be caught DEAD without make-up on. 

You get my point. All the things that I used to do to be happy with myself, I'm not doing anymore. I'd like to say that it's because I don't have the time, but that's a lie. I do, I just don't make the time. Or maybe I just don't care anymore? No, wait. I do care. A LOT. Because I'm always thinking about how I look.

Last year, was too crazy for me. I was pulling myself in so many directions, I got dizzy. Working, having a new baby, going to school, and being a wife was a little too much for me (although I hated admitting it). So, I quit my job. I'm focusing on school, being a mom, and loving my husband. Now that is an agenda I can handle. This year-2012-is going to be SO different. 

To begin, I WILL be running the SLC half-marathon in April. I'm so glad that my brother's girlfriend, Laura, has decided to do it with me; so I'll have someone to keep tabs on me :). This is going to help give me a reason to get into shape. It's not just because I want to look good, it's because I want to be able to finish the race. Plus, I started weight-watchers. So the motivation to exercise along with a means to eat well is really going to keep me going.

As for all of those things that I listed above, I'm going to do the EXACT opposite. If that means I have to wake up at 5 A.M. (and it does) then I will. I've come to realize that if I don't make time for me, I'm not going to be able to be the wife and mom that I need and want to be. In the years that I have spent primping, getting ready, exercising, looking cute, I have never ONCE regretted taking the time to do it; but do I regret NOT doing all those things right now? YES. Duh. So how do I do it all? I make the freaking time to do it all. And no that doesn't make me selfish (that's me telling myself that). 

Why has this taken me 15-months to figure out?!?!? 

Well I still don't know and I'm not going to spend the time to figure out why I didn't figure it all out sooner. Because the excuses end NOW. 

I want to see this little body again. Can you believe I thought I was FAT right here? Distorted body image? I think YES!!!!

FYI this post turned out to be WAY more personal than I meant for it to be. Maybe blogging is bad for me, I think I end up treating it more like a journal.