Dreaming My Life Away

Just dreaming. Of that scary moment, when I’ll get to sign my life away, get handed some keys and finally get to open the door to our first home. Oh, I can’t wait. Sigh*, someday.

You know what else I can’t wait for? Graduating! Being a full time mommy. Getting my body back. Having another baby. Buying a new car. In fact, sometimes I am thinking so much about all of the things I want to do or all of the things I’m excited for-I lose sleep. I will literally, stay up for hours, just running my brain about our plans for the future. I’m beginning to think it’s unhealthy. For example, I’m already planning our next child’s name. I’ll just send Mike a text during the day asking him which name he likes more. At first I think he was a little concerned, but then he figured out I’m just being overly excited. Then, most recently, I’ve become obsessed with house hunting. Not physically, but all over the Internet. I search ziprealty, KSL, and other websites “just to see what’s out there”. Mike says I’m getting ahead of myself. I think he’s right.

Lately, I have found myself so focused on the future that I realized I’m not enjoying the present. I think this happens often in our society, people always want the next big thing or are always working towards something, anything; they never just sit back and “breathe” in the present. I spend so much time and energy thinking about stuff that I can’t really make happen right now; I need to slow down. I will graduate, I will be a full time mommy soon, I will have my body back, I will have another baby (and their name is unimportant until they’re in my arms), I will become a home-owner, and sooner or later I will get a new car. All in good time, and when everything makes sense. It wouldn’t make sense to have a baby now, it wouldn’t make sense to buy a home now (because the home we would be able to afford wouldn’t be one we want), and it wouldn’t make sense to quit school when I’m so close to being done. What is the saying? Oh ya! 

 Patience is a virtue. 

  Patience is a virtue.   
Patience is a virtue!

Maybe if I write it down enough, I’ll be able to pound that one into my head long enough to remember it. Man, I am so impatient. 

Or maybe I’m just dreaming too much. There's nothing wrong with dreaming, right? Well there is when you're literally dreaming your life away instead of focusing on the present. 

I am loving the present though. Braelyn is too much fun right now-I love her more than anything in this world, I love my husband just as much though, I love not having to work, I love school, I am so grateful we have the opportunity to live with Mike's parents so that our dreams can come true-faster. I'm very lucky to have ended up with so many blessings, I'm not even sure how I got here other than by a few "mistakes". There, see. I can enjoy the present, even if the future sounds more exciting sometimes :). 

My little dreamer ;)